


The Flying Geranium

by Missy



Category: Archer (Cartoon), Burn Notice
Genre: Crack, Guns, Humor, Multi, PWP, Porn Battle, Smut, Threesome - F/F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-02
Updated: 2011-02-02
Packaged: 2017-10-15 08:07:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/158802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Missy/pseuds/Missy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lana is Michael and Fiona's cover.  One bottle of wine later, and Fi and Michael are the ones covering Lana...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Flying Geranium

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Porn Battle: Prompt: Crossover, Archer/Burn Notice, Lana Kane/Fiona Glenanne/Michael Westen, hide, shoot, snow

Michael didn’t know who the woman in the orange turtleneck was, but wherever she once came from right now she provided them with the cover they needed to haul ass out of the burning chalet. It was Fi who dragged him through the snow to a cave several feet away, closer to the mountain range. When Michael came to again, she was performing emergency triage on his shoulder.

“Swallow this.” He knew well the taste of off-market painkillers and didn’t gag on the bitterness as he took them down – pretty soon he wasn’t feeling anything but the pleasant rush of resting his head in Fiona’s lap.

Suddenly, they heard footsteps – even half-drugged and drowsy, he tried to reach for his gun. Fi’s already got hers locked and loaded, and her elow resting on his forehead.

“Ow,” Michael remarked, but the newcomer was their cover, still in her white stilletos and carrying a gun twice her size and a pack on her back.

“I think I got them all,” the woman panted, leaning back against the cave wall, her hair coming loose from its bun. “Glenanne and Westen?”

Fi raised a brow and looked down at Michael, who shrugged. “Who wants to know?”

“Lana Kane. I work for ISIS,” she held out the hand that wasn’t otherwise occupied.

“Oh, I’ve heard plenty about ISIS.” And about how inept it was, Michael thought, though he didn’t voice that opinion. “We’re guarding the same target.”

“We were. I left my partner with a guy named Sam, they’re taking care of the recon work.” She pulled a set of blankets and a flask of water from the pack and handed them to Fi.

“Sam’s ours,” Fiona said casually, wrapping herself in the blanket after helping Michael. “So damn cold. There’s a blizzard headed in tonight, right?”

“Three feet, and it’s not letting up until morning.” She tossed the pack down, pulling out a parka and donning it. “I’m going to get firewood.”

“I’ll come along – if you show me how to load that.” Fi, naturally, only had eyes for Lana’s gun.

Lana scoffed. “I could show you with one hand tied behind my back.”

“I could arrange that,” Fi said loftily. “Michael, keep your shoulder elevated.”

“Right,” he said, watching the two women retreat. The promise in Fi’s words tickled his imagination as he drifted in and out of consciousness.

***

The next time Michael was fully awake, he heard feminine laughter and felt the roaring heat of a fireplace. Stirring, he opened his eyes and tried rolling his shoulder – not bad. He looked around for Fi and Lana.

And there they were, lying on the other side of the flames, naked, with an open bottle of wine at their feet, sixty-nining.

A few minutes passed before they noticed him. “He’s awake,” Lana noted, between breathless moans, then lowered her face to Fi’s wet sex.

Fi made a sound that sounded something like ‘oh’, but Michael couldn’t discern it from the sucking noises coming from between Lana’s legs. She lifted her face again, lips shining with Fiona’s excitement, and glanced at Michael. “Should we let him in?”

Fi made a noncommittal sound. “Yeah, he looks all right.”

“How do you know what she’s saying?” Michael asked, walking gingerly around the fire and getting on his knees between Fi’s thighs.

“I speak fluent sexese,” Lana said, all but rolling her eyes at him as she wrapped an arm around his neck and drew him into a kiss. “Have you ever heard of the Flying Geranium?”

Michael shook his head, frowning.

“It takes a bit of practice,” she declared, “but we have the time, honey,” she declared, leaning into Michael’s kiss.

***

Michael was alarmed by the ease with which he could fuck another woman in front of Fiona. Then again, Fi had no qualms about scissoring her sex against Lana’s, the two of them sending each other into moaning, orgasmic frenzy.

Sometime around dawn, he found himself flat on his back as Fi rode his cock and he ate Lana out.

“He’s not bad,” Lana remarked, panting, barely holding onto her composure. “I can see why you keep dating him.”

Fi was by that time a sweaty mess of desire and passion, and she was nearly worn out by the strain. “Oh God, Michael, please come!” she begged.

“Need some help?” Lana shifted in Michael’s grip, reaching for Fi.

It’s the idea of Lana stroking FI’s clit that made Michael come in a messy flood, all over Lana’s hand and deep inside of Fiona, which sets Fi off with a squeal, which made Lana buck against Michael’s wiggling tongue and let out a low, husky moan. They froze in space together before melting down into a pile of warm, gasping flesh.

After a moment, Lana asked, “does anyone smoke?”

“No,” Fiona panted, resting against Michael’s chest.

“No. But damn, do I wish I did!”

***

A few hours later, Lana had dressed and prepared herself for the trek back down the mountain.

“We’ll give you an hour start. Pity we can’t all go together,” Fi said, handing Lana her gun.

“Trust me, you don’t want Archer to know what we did. He never forgets a face, especially one who’s licked mine,” she ran a hand through Fi’s hair and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. “You’ve got my email. Next time we’re in the same town…”

Fiona smiled. “We’ll see.”

Lana nodded her head once, then retreated down the footpath to the main lodge.

“Bye,” Michael said through his teeth. Once he and Fiona were alone again, he remarked, “did you have fun?”

“Oh, I suppose so.” She strolled over to Michael and wrapped an arm around his neck. “But no one does it better than you, Michael.”

Michael eyed her as she went in for a kiss. “Really?”

“Mmm. We should start getting dressed; I’m booking the first flight to Miami,” her eyes sparkled as she donned her sweater. “I can think of a few things I’d like to practice when we get there.”


End file.
